Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Circumnavigate the Globe Completely Naked
For those of you wanting a challenge here's a great activity to attempt naked.
This is not an easy activity and to date no known nudist has competed it. Circumnavigating the entire planet completely starkers is considered by some to be the holy grail of nudism. Many have tried, many have failed and some have even perished attempting this most difficult of tasks. Should you achieve it you will become a legend among naturists for all time. Even attempting it is worthy of respect – get half way and your annual naturist association membership fee will be waived for life!
What makes it especially challenging is that one is not allowed to take any possessions on the trip. No money, clothing or documentation of any kind is allowed to be taken when you set out. You are of course allowed to procure things on the way by whatever means necessary. The only rule is you must start with nothing. Since the nude do not have pockets, some might say this way is easier anyhow. There is some debate over whether one can be naked whilst carrying a bag, but for this task there is no question that you must leave without one. Such is the daunting nature of this undertaking though, that no one would question it if you were to find one during the journey.
Travel must be won through barter or earning your fare en route. Perhaps a bit of begging or street performance. Perhaps taking on simple errands for tradespeople you meet on your way. Crossing international borders in this state is difficult due to the lack of documentation. A sly bit of banter or running at speed is necessary here. One obviously has to exercise a certain caution lest one should take a bullet up the bottom, although it has often been observed that people are reluctant to shoot the nude. Perhaps the nobility of the human form without clothing stays the hand of the honest soldier. Perhaps the would be gunman simply cannot believe what he is seeing. Either way, treat it as an advantage and use it.. and run as fast as you can.
In my youth I did attempt to perform this noble feat, but was sadly arrested outside Cleethorpes after pilfering a set of undergarments from a washing line. Fortunately I was spared the humiliation of a custodial sentence but did have to write a letter of apology to the gentleman who's underwear I nabbed.
A rather more successful acquaintance of mine made it through the channel tunnel but was stopped by French police. He wasn't stopped for being nude, which, even in formal situations, the French are generally fine with, but for not having a passport. They thought he might have been an illegal immigrant and turned him back to blighty.
All the other attempts of which I am aware have ended in ignominious failure. Mr Cock-Roberts vanished for three months. It was hoped he was doing rather well. Some even suggested he would turn up one day and announce his success but when he did come back to us it transpired he had fallen foul of the weather six days after leaving and spent the rest of the time in hospital recovering from the effects of exposure.
Mr Bolus spent weeks training and promised everyone he would be the first to complete this greatest of missions. Unfortunately he drowned trying to swim the English channel (apparently he tried to get to Holland instead of France for some reason, not being fond of the French).
We are not cruel enough to award a prize for the most feeble attempt of all but if we were it would surely go to Mrs Bessop, who discussed her attempt for weeks only to return after all of ten minutes on the grounds that it was 'a bit cold'. A second attempt has not been forthcoming.
These tales may server as a warning, or perhaps inspiration to prospective globetrotters. Though this activity is beset with danger, history is there to be written!
For more nude activities, take a look at '100 Incredible Nude Activities' available now at Amazon.
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